Chemo Kicked My A$$

Optimism is for suckers.

The day after my Taxol chemotherapy, I felt pretty good – I was able to eat normally, which was a big deal. I did end up flushing red and breaking out in itchy hives, but honestly? Was pretty much OK with that, compared to the nausea thing. It made the nurses a little nervous when I showed up for my Neulasta shot (which also gives me hives), but we forged ahead and I got my shot. Lots of Benadryl.

I went to work on Thursday, and started out feeling good – but as the day wore on, I developed a lot of aching pain. It skyrocketed at the end of the day, especially in my legs. By the time I reached my daughter’s child care, I was genuinely unsure of my ability to walk in and get her. I managed it, but when we got home, collapsed on the couch with a pile of painkillers.

Which didn’t seem to make any difference, as the pain peaked overnight Thursday. Not going to put the brave face on this one – I was up all night, and in tears for a good chunk of it. I had to take Friday off, because even as the pain started to back off, it was still endlessly achy with no relief.

I did make it to the radiation oncologists on Friday, although I had to get Mike (Boyfriend) to drive me. We talked through how my radiation therapy will work, and I got some literature about a study I should qualify for. The gist of the study is to see if a higher dose of radiation over a shorter amount of time is as effective as the current 5-6 week regime. It’s been successful in Canada, and this is the U.S. version of the same study. One piece of good news – research completed in January on a methodology for reducing the amount of radiation to the patient’s heart, and that method will be useful to me.

Then, because the day was just not awful enough, Mike’s truck broke down on the way home. When it rains (which it did, on our heads, while we waited for a Lyft to fetch me) it pours.

The oncologist’s office recommended I take an Ativan to force myself to sleep Friday night (along with the endless painkillers). It wasn’t particularly effective – I still couldn’t sleep through my legs aching, and when I was lying in my bed awake, I couldn’t focus on my book. Instead of just having pain and insomnia, I had pain, insomnia and stupid.

Things continue to improve – it’s Sunday, and now my legs only ache as much as they would if I’d exercised too much – ha ha ha ha! Like that’ll happen…

I’ll be checking in again with the oncologist’s office to see if there are other things I can be doing for next time – because this was pretty awful. It is a known side effect, unfortunately, just less common than the ones I was worrying about. I guess the good news is that I’m not having neuropathy, so let’s assume the ice worked.

Sorry to be a bummer. I’ll bounce back.